The Demise of Reality TV Couples

Jon & Kate are getting divorced, and I doubt anyone is even truly the slightest bit surprised. Here's why.

1. If you've watched the show, you can tell that Kate is a passive aggressive bi-hatch, and Jon is a whiney toad (and possible man whore).

2. The second you sign up for a couple's/family reality show, you're doomed.

3. Anyone who gets couple's teeth whitening should be thrown off a cliff.

I truly feel bad for the kids (all ocho of them), plus their two dogs, unless the claims of animal abuse are true. To be absolutely truthful, since the past couple episodes have featured other celebrities on Jon & Kate Plus 8, I was really really hoping that Angelina Jolie would appear and adopt all of them. Then in a pure act of heroism, she would head over to Octomom's house and adopt all of her kids too. Then I imagine that she and Brad Pitt would head back to Disneyland, which they would own as a vacation home with their new brood and live together in the Sleeping Beauty castle.

Here's who I forsee in the next two years getting divorced:

1. Tori & Dean (Tori, I'm sorry your mom hates you and had a whole room dedicated to gift wrap)

2. Spencer & Heidi (the god act isn't fooling anyone)

3. The Little Couple. Just because nobody knows of little people getting divorced doesn't mean that they don't. Plus the lady doctor little person is totally obnoxious. I don't care how cute and little she is, I couldn't put up with that for more than a few hours before she was kicked to the curb. Her little husband deserves a trophy.

And not that anyone besides myself watches that show, but have you noticed how many times they use the words "little" "tiny" and "small"? It's like they have to make a quote on how many little synonyms they can make in a show. If someone could please turn this into a drinking game, tape it, and then send it to me it would truly brighten my week.