Friday, December 12, 2008

Commercials These Days Are Gross

Whatever happened to the days of cute cartoon animals and Emmanuel Lewis selling me products? Due to my latest insomniac episode, I've seen some of the best and (mostly) worst commercials.

Worst (Not in any particular order):

1. The Charmin Bears - I don't get why it's ok to see a bear pooping in the woods and getting toilet paper stuck to its butt. It's gross. I love bears, but bears don't make it cool to poop.









2. The XBox "Live Your Moment" Commercials:

Smiling, vacant people with only half of head since there's already a band or a family living in the back of his head. My husband has an XBox and honestly, I fear it. Nobody wants that! I haven't read the instruction manual, but if it's listed anywhere "XBox 360 may cause half of your head to fall off and a random band to come live in it" I'm moving out. Sorry honey.

3. The "Marijuana Hurts" Campaign:

A cute little boy starts getting smoldering holes in his neck and wrist, and then his eye. He opens the door to see his sister smoking a joint. AHA! Marijuana hurts the people around you!

I'm sure if marijuana was so bad that it actually caused physical burn marks to people in your family that very few people would smoke it, even if it made Pink Floyd's The Wall and The Wizard of Oz seem to synch up. Nothing is that cool.

Best:

Amish made "Heat Surge" Fireplace:

Because even the Amish get cold. I'm pretty sure this only comes on at 3 in the morning, but if you ever get a chance to see this infomercial please tape it. It features the hard-working Amish people making fireplace mantles that are then used with flameless fireplaces.














2. The Slanket:

It's a blanket with arms, and if you wear it while standing you look like a monk.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Speaking of kids....

Names I would love for my future dogs:



Gompers



Stedman



Huxtable


Emory



Hey, if I can't use them on my human kids, I don't want them to go to waste.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I wish Tim Gunn was my neighbor


I wish Tim Gunn was my next door neighbor. I would love for him to be my cute little gay neighbor friend and my kids godfather. I can imagine him saying "Jackson, you know you can't match striped footie pajamas with that Mickey Mouse hat! Make it work!"

I heart you Tim Gunn, you are my favorite.

Friday, October 3, 2008

V.P. debate last night

I'm not going to get into the whole debate because I could take up a whole page, but I simply refuse to have another person in office who pronounces a word "NUCULAR". It's not charming, endearing, or down-to-earth, it's plain stupid. You'd think with all the coaching Sarah Palin is getting that they could teach her to say a word that she'd have to use for the next four years (GOD I HOPE NOT!!!!!!!!!) correctly.

Apply the death penalty to minors

I don't care how old you are, killing animals is wrong. This especially applies to this stupid kid right here, who apparently killed three lizards and also fed with a rock and fed 10 animals to a crocodile at a zoo. This kid was left alone for 30 minutes and did all of this damage.

My suggestion: Kill him. He's not going to grow up to be an outstanding human being. Even if he does learn from his mistakes, he'll be haunted by the fact that he did that. So please, just kill him. We don't need any more idiots in the world than we already have.

My suggestion for the parents: Kill them too. Parents shouldn't raise 10-year olds who think it's ok to do anything so awful, and they shouldn't leave their kids unattended either. What the heck were they doing for 30 minutes that was so darn important that they could leave him? Quickie in the monkey cage? Feeding cotton candy to giraffes? Riding a giant panda? People like this shouldn't be able to breed.

I think that by "Death Penaltying*" more people, it will leave more room in the world for people who don't think it's ok to kill zoo animals and who don't think it's ok to raise kids who think that it's ok either.

I may be liberal, but on this one I'm with Texas.

*Death Penaltying may be too harsh of a word, and not exactly grammatically-correct. Maybe "Super Happy Sleeping Foreverness?"

Friday, September 26, 2008

Happy Birthday to Everyone


Is it coincidence or just pure conspiracy that everyone is having a birthday and bringing in cake to work a month before my wedding? It's not like you can just say no, believe me I've tried. Not fair.


Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dreamweaver Weirdness


I've been taking a Dreamweaver class through community college for the last few weeks. Last class, I noticed that there was a frightening looking individual - no joke, looked like Dave Chapelle as a crackhead- sitting in my class. He's been coming in the past few classes and then leaving. I don't think he is learning about building websites. Can you do drug deals over the internet on a community college computer?


There's also someone who came in this morning with the newspaper's TV Guide section and was highlighting a bunch of shows. TV agent, or TV obsessed? Doesn't everyone have a guide function on their TV these days? I know that I'm one of the lone people without TV, but seriously!

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Autumn is coming!!




I know it's sideways, but the little jump she does off of the case of pumpkin ale (yes, we have 5 cases in our living room) cracks me up every time I see it.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Politics Shmolitics


I'm already sick of writing about politics, mostly because I just get heated when I talk about them.

So on my last political rant of the week (unless something interesting happens), I just want to state my utter annoyance with the publicity of Sarah Palin.

Fox ran a TV special on her last night called: Sarah Palin: An American Woman. Wow Fox Republicans, way to just call it like you see it. What are the qualities that make her an American woman besides her birthright? Her anti-abortion stance? The fact that she wants to drill for oil or her love of guns? Why didn't you run an Obama: An American Man special?

Basically I'm upset because all of the publicity that Sarah Palin is getting is appealing to the stupidity of America that is going to say, "Wow, a mom AND a politician. Amazing. And she's good looking. Let's vote for her because I can relate to working and having a family. Plus Hillary Clinton is out of the race, so she's like a stand-in."

JOHN MCCAIN IS GOING TO DIE. This means that Sarah Palin's inexperienced self will be YOUR PRESIDENT. That's a scary thought.

I'm sick and maybe just rambling. I will concede that Sarah Palin is nice looking and probably very personable. That doesn't mean that she should be president. Carmen Electra should not be our next president just because she is attractive and inspires women to work out.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Redneck Love


Apparently Bristol and her Prince Charming of a man, redneck Levi Johnston, were planning on getting married before Bristol became pregnant. Yeah...because that's a responsible decision, letting your 17-year daughter make the lifelong mistake of getting pregnant followed by a shotgun wedding to a redneck. It's great that VP candidate Sarah Palin is already making the world a better place by starting with her own family.


Here's some info on the baby daddy's MySpace:

Bristol Palin's baby daddy has been revealed to be 18 year-old Levi Johnston. Sarah Palin announced that her 17 year-old daughter is five months pregnant Monday. Read More at HuffPost's Sarah Palin big news page.

According to The NY Daily News:

Doe-eyed Bristol Palin, 17, and ruggedly handsome Levi Johnston, 18, have been dating for about a year, locals in their hometown of Wasilla, Alaska, told the Daily News...

..."They've been together quite a while, more than a year," she said. "I hope everything comes out well. These are local kids."

Johnston, broadchested and wearing a No. 15 jersey, can be seen in photographs hitting the boards as a Warrior in action.

A closeup shot shows the handsome teen with a light dusting of whiskers on his chin - his dark brown hair curly and wet.

"Levi has got huge potential," Jennie Johnston said. "He's a smart kid."

The New York Post has excerpts from Johnston's MySpace page:

On his MySpace page, Johnston boasts, "I'm a f - - -in' redneck" who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.

"But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in' chillin' I guess."

"Ya f - - - with me I'll kick [your] ass," he added.

He also claims to be "in a relationship," but states, "I don't want kids."





Party on Bristol!

Monday, September 1, 2008

Bristol Palin is Knocked Up

In a scandal which will probably be unfortunately "blown over" because of Hurricane Guztav, Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol is knocked up.

If you search for Bristol Palin on the internet, you'll see that there are tons of stories out there saying that Sarah Palin's youngest child, Trig, is really Bristol's. If you look at pictures of both Sarah and Bristol during that time period, you'll see that Sarah does not look even slightly pregnant, and Bristol looks like a whale. After this story broke, all of Bristol's pictures during this time were taken down from Sarah Palin's website. Also, Bristol apparently missed at least 6 months of school during this time due to "mono".

Now it's being reported that Bristol is now 5 months pregnant and keeping it.

Sarah Palin is anti-abortion and pro-abstinence. She preaches family values and thinks that education about not having sex is better than education about safe sex. Kids will have sex, that's a given. It's just hilarious to me that her own stupidity is slapping her in the face, especially during the convention.

I really hope that this story gets the coverage that it should so that people see the importance of teaching their children about safe sex and how not to get pregnant, instead of skipping over the facts and telling people not to have sex - it's not going to happen. And that doesn't make youngsters having sex a good thing, it's just a reality.

IN YO FACE GRANDMA PALIN!

Here's just one of many links:

LINK

Friday, August 29, 2008

Don't Fall For It Ladies

Here are the facts: Hillary Clinton is not in the running for the presidency. Anyone who watched the democratic convention saw how many women sat there crying while she delivered her speech, and then reported later that Hillary was still "their presidential candidate".

Let's face it - she's not. And that doesn't make her a bad person or an under-qualified person or anything like that. She just didn't get picked.

In a sneaky move this morning, John McCain made the announcement that Sarah Palin of Alaska would be his VP pick. Does anyone see the corrollation? Smart, strong woman running for political office. The Republicans want you to think SARAH PALIN = HILLARY CLINTON!! It's like an anagram, but missing a few letters and with a few others added in for good measure. They do both have H's in their first name.

Ladies: Don't give in to this ploy! Sarah Palin is a fetus loving - women's choice hating, moose eating, gun toting Republican. She is not Hillary Clinton.

See? They may both have breasts, but that doesn't make Sarah Palin a substitute for Hillary Clinton.
















Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Help a sister out

I know what it's like to have to promote the hell out of the music company you work for.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Monday, August 18, 2008

Just Another Plug for Adoption

Watch this adorable puppy I rescued battle my poor kitty. My cats will hate me when we eventually get a dog.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Who Am I Voting For?

My friend just sent me a fun little quiz that helps you choose which candidate you're voting for in the presidential election based on where you stand on issues. Looks like I know who I want Obama's VP to end up being too...

89% Chris Dodd
84% Barack Obama
83% Hillary Clinton
82% Mike Gravel
82% John Edwards
80% Dennis Kucinich
80% Joe Biden
77% Bill Richardson
49% Rudy Giuliani
34% John McCain
27% Mike Huckabee
26% Mitt Romney
24% Tom Tancredo
22% Ron Paul
14% Fred Thompson

2008 Presidential Candidate Matching Quiz

Monday, August 11, 2008

Obligatory Birthday List

It's almost my birthday! Convince me to write more often by sending me something from mey birthday list (just kidding, unless you really want to send me something out of the kindness of your heart. I won't say no - promise). It's hard to think of birthday things because there's really nothing I need, so I feel lame putting down things that aren't totally essential. To make myself seem like a better person, feel free to donate to Lab Rescuers instead. That would make me happy too.














JCrew Dog Critter Argyle Cardigan













JCrew Pinecone and Squirrel Bracelet











House (Because Steve says I need a house first)























PUPPIES!!!












IKEA - PJÄTTERYD Wall Art
















Tiffany's Scottie tag charm

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

See You Soon Fall!!

60 Days till the first day of autumn!!!

Now if only I lived here:

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Thanks A Lot Brian Bilbray

First: Steve said that my stance on offshore drilling may lead some people to believe I encourage it, when I in fact do not, so I apologize for any vagueness. So to clear it up:

NO OFFSHORE DRILLING

Anyway, Congressman Brian Bilbray wrote me back this morning.
Here was his Auto-Response to anything about energy.


..................................

Dear Ms. Burnett:

Thank you for taking the time to contact me regarding the high cost of oil and the need to take steps to increase our domestic energy production. I share your concerns and I appreciate hearing from you on this important issue.

Today, the people of San Diego County pay some of the highest gas prices in the country. As I pump gas near my house in Carlsbad, I'm paying $4.69 a gallon. According to the San Diego Association of Governments, the average family income is $52,600 a year. Needless to say, our quality of life is being impacted by these high prices.

As the global price of oil has increased from $50 a barrel to nearly $140 a barrel, the average price of gas in San Diego has surged to more than $4.60 a gallon. This has placed a tremendous burden on all our families, particularly those least able to afford it. Unfortunately, our energy problem is likely to increase as the rapidly growing economies of China and India demand increasing amounts of oil and the amount of proven reserves stagnates.

In the short term, increasing the supply of oil will help reduce prices at the pump. It is for that reason that I voted with many of my colleagues for H.R. 6022 to temporarily suspend deposits into the Strategic Petroleum Reserve. This freed approximately 70,000 barrels of oil a day for domestic use and experts suggest that it could lower gas prices up to 24 cents per gallon. President Bush signed this measure into law on May 19, 2008.

In addition, I support granting states the right to explore and drill for oil resources within their own domain. For example, if the states of Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama want to grant drilling rights off their coast, Washington, DC bureaucrats should not impede their leasing authority as long as it doesn't impact our national security and is done in an environmentally responsible manner. Furthermore, states like California should retain their right to prohibit off-shore drilling off their coast.

Increasing supply through new development is only an intermediate step. To prepare for the long run, we must invest in sustainable energy sources such as solar, nuclear, algae and hydrogen technologies. As a result, I am pleased to let you know that I am a cosponsor of H.R. 5984, the Clean Energy Tax Stimulus Act, which will extend renewable energy and conservation tax credits that are set to expire at the end of 2008. Because of the long lead time involved with many of these projects, we have already seen renewable energy project development impacted by the imminently expiring tax credits. We must act quickly to ensure continued forward progress and a more reliable energy future.

Again, thank you for contacting me. Rest assured that I will work with my colleagues to reduce the price of gas and enact policies that will provide for a secure, robust and clean energy future for our families and communities. If you have any questions, please call me or my office at (202) 225-0508.


Sincerely,


Brian Bilbray
Member of Congress

.......................................


1. I don't care about the cost of gas near your house in Carlsbad that I cant afford.

2. Stop blaming China and India. Yes, I do realize that this is a major issue, but we need to be accountable for our own actions. Let's not add to the problem, let's fix it. We can't fix other people, but we can fix ourselves.

3. I don't agree in offshore drilling ANYWHERE! I definitely agree that the government shouldn't interfere and make a state drill, but I don't think that states should be allowed to do this. Nada. And that is why, just based on this email, I will find a way to vote you out of office. Jerk

Monday, July 14, 2008

No offshore drilling please!!


This is the main headline on MSN today: White House: Bush To Lift Offshore Drilling Ban

Bush is trying to lift the offshore drilling ban that his own father instated.

In layman's terms: Bush is trying to save face before he leaves office by trying to appease some hicks who think that we will have enough oil in the ocean that we can drive our SUV's (or John Deere tractors) for billions of years. This is all despite the fact that we will be disrupting and killing vital ocean wildlife, underwater habitats, and potentially killing off tons of underwater species (including the narwhal, which is a badass creature!!).

Fortunately(?) the only way this will happen is if the Congress approves offshore drilling, which means there is still a glimmer of hope (I think)! This requires you to stop reading any online comics and searching for cute purses for about 3 minutes so you can write your congressperson and urge them to vote no on offshore drilling. Just look at the happy fish picture. Would you want to hurt a fish this happy? I think not.

Below is a letter that I wrote to my congressperson. Feel free to copy it and send it to yours.

Here is the address to write your congressperson:
https://forms.house.gov/wyr/welcome.shtml

You will need your 9 digit (not 4) zip code. Don't know it? Don't be ashamed, I didn't! Just go here:
http://zip4.usps.com/zip4/welcome.jsp

Many thanks and besos,
Katie




Good morning Congressman Bilbray,

I'm writing this morning to urge you to vote against the offshore drilling plan that President Bush has suggested.

Offshore drilling is only a temporary solution to a larger issue that won't go away. We will run out of oil. Destroying ocean wildlife may help our cars run longer on oil, but in the long run will not help us solve this issue. Funding resources for alternative energies that will help us sustain life and conserve our environment are key.

Please vote no on this issue, it is vital for us to preserve what untouched parts of the earth that we have.

Respectfully yours,
Katie Bee

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Caspers Don't Belong In Havasu




I am a self-proclaimed Casper. I am as white as they come, nay, transparent.

For Mr. Pirates and my fourth anniversary of boyfriend/girfriendism together, we trucked it up to Havasu. Although I love Mr. Pirates to death, I don't love hot weather, or direct sunlight. Or rednecks. Luckily he was understanding and let me dwell in the cool air-conditioned house, while it was 120 degrees outside. No joke. 120.

Our main reason for going: The Black Bear Diner, or as we like to call it, Hungry Bear Jamboree. Why do we call it that? I have no idea. I think we are just really corny. Steve likes it because the ham there is an inch thick. I like it because there are bears everywhere, and breakfast is my favorite meal.

Here are the unfortunate reasons that although Havasu has the Hungry Bear Jamboree, it equals Hell.

The only mall there had the following stores:

Walmart















JC Penny's














and Dillards??















I actually have nothing against Dillards (that I know of) but come on!!! That's not a mall!!

And once again, 120 degrees. That shouldn't even be a real temperature! I am sad that unfortunately as global warming increases, I will probably be the first to go due to climate change. I just suck at heat adjusting.

I also went dog vigilante all weekend and not only yelled at a redneck in a restaurant for keeping his dog in the car while he had an hour long breakfast, but made Mr. Pirates circle around a neighbor's house to make sure that a dog that was tied up was ok.

I like dogs, ok?

Monday, June 23, 2008

Please Mom, Can I Stay Home and Work?


My little black beetle will be one of these cars stuck in never-ending traffic by October.

One of the 3 nice things about living where I do now is my short commute to work. The freeway is right next to my house, and I work off of the first off-ramp. Neat huh? It's not short enough that I could ride my bike, but it's a pretty short commute, as far as commuting goes.

The Mr. and I are looking to move this October a bit farther away, and the only real bummer will be my 10 minute drive to work. Boo. Simple option - telecommuting. Cuts down on traffic and gasoline, which cuts down on oil shortages, pollution, and traffic grumpiness. Since I do internet marketing, everything I need to access can be accessed at home. Even if I just worked from home one day a week, I'd save 7,000 trees a year. Yes, I did just make up that statistic because I work in marketing, not science, and don't know how many trees I'd actually save. My guess is that it would be a lot.

Anyway, telecommuting would be a great option. There is absolutely nothing, except getting face time with people, that I couldn't just do at home.

Here's a great article about the joys of telecommuting on TreeHugger. So please people, call my boss and let her know that this is really in everyone's best interest.

Oh, and the other top two things about living where I live:

2. Lizards
3. Bumble Trees (aka really pretty trees filled with angry bees). Maybe I should think of a new #3.

Monday, June 16, 2008

I Heart Anthropologie

seriously. Every little thing about that darn overpriced store.

We went to the Forum Shops @ Caesar's this weekend in Vegas and I managed to drag Steve in for 15 minutes of pure bliss. Why can't I go on a show where they give me 10K to spend there? I guarantee I could do it.

Current obsession:


It's an owl sake kit (owl pot and shot glasses). I could pour sake out of the little owl nose and drink out of the little owl heads. Wait...that sounds a little bad. :[

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Done and Done. Love, Hillary

Hillary Clinton is done. It was reported this morning that she, "will be speaking on Saturday about how together we can rally the party behind Senator Obama. The stakes are too high and the task before us too important to do otherwise."

Seriously, this could have been done so long ago. I don't claim to be a political strategist unless I'm really drunk, but it seems to me like she should have dropped out much longer ago to help strengthen the democratic party and to rally the people who didn't support Obama for whatever reason. McCain has been the nominee since March, and has been able to campaign since then, perhaps giving him a slight advantage. Obama needs to campaign hardcore now until November.

It makes it difficult to even fathom having Hillary as a VP since most Obama lovers are wondering why she has damaged this campaign for so long and might now be looking to jump on the train. Although it would be almost comical to see an odd couple like Obama and Clinton run for president, I don't personally believe that it would be the winning ticket to the White House. It's like a political version of Heidi Klum and Seal, but without the funny looking kids. It's just hard to think of the people in the red states (further known as Jesus Land) voting for a woman and an African-American. It's sad, but I really don't think that our country has let go of it's prejudices enough to elect people who would be better for our country than McCain because of race and gender, and I really think that race and gender factors combined, it would probably make their heads explode.

Anyway, there's my $0.03.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

So I'm pretty much famous

In your face ex-boyfriends!

And no, we don't look that fuzzy in real life.





LOVEBIRDS- Katie Bee of Agoura Hills is engaged to Steven Pirates of San Diego. Katie is a 2001 graduate of Agoura High School and 2005 graduate of San Diego State University. Steven is a graduate of University of Massachusettes and is a student at California Western School of Law. The couple will wed in San Diego in November.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Keep Bleeding? Eww.

At work I'm fortunate (?) enough to be able to music. Most of the music that is acceptable is adult contemporary, which, coming from working at a rock music venue, I'm not really used to. This particular song which plays every 45 minutes just grosses me out every time. If it was written by a man, I'd say he was a hemophiliac. Just gross.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Eff You Scott Prichard

We found a dog Saturday. We also found a cat Saturday in a separate incident, but that's not as dramatic of a story.

Saturday was going to be a relaxing day. Steve and I jaunted over to the grocery store so I could buy him cookies. He really likes cookies. Since we had just purchased a wedding present for my friend, I didn't figure out until we were in line at the store that my wallet was still sitting on my couch at home. We left said groceries and ran home to get the wallet, and then back to the store. On the way back, there was a dog running through traffic that just about got hit. These are the events which followed:

K: THERE'S A DOG IN THE STREET! GO GET THE DOG!!!
(Steve tumbles out of car while I am still driving to catch the dog)
(Steve catches dog)
(Katie finally pulls over and to put dog in the car)

We caught a bonafide large slobber dog. After catching the dog, we drive by the pet store to get a leash. There's a tag on the dog but the number is disconnected and information doesn't bring anything up. Since going to an animal shelter wasn't an option (there was no way we were going to bring an unneutered pitbull male to a kill-shelter) we took him to the vet since he had a cut foot and was pretty underweight.

5 hours and $350 later, we had ourselves a dog. We took him back to our condo, much to the dismay of our two cats, cleaned out the spare bedroom, and shacked up with the dog on our futon. I had the fun job of sleeping (well, not really sleeping, more like being spooned by a giant dog and staying awake) with the dog.

I had searched Craigslist for any missing pets, googled Scott Prichard, missing pitbulls, and everything else in the San Diego area. Nothing.

Before I can become extremely extremely attached to the dog (note that I was already extremely attached, although Steve warned me not to be) I decided to MySpace his name. There he was in all of his duechebag glory - Scott Prichard. A 30 year old comic book fan (but not the cool, hipster, comic book fan, the bonehead who has anger issues and can't read above a 2nd grade reading level so he has to read things with pictures kind of comic book fan), Scott Prichard was there right in front of me, and there was a picture of my dog on his stupid comments. I couldn't keep the dog. I had to at least write him and see if he wanted it back.

The dog had a foot infection, which he got while living with this scumface. He hadn't been neutered, and if the dog hadn't been ridiculously affectionate I would've called the shelter for animal abuse.

You'd think if you lost your dog you'd come right over to get it, excited that you were given a second chance. Not in this case. Scott Prichard showed up 45 minutes later, although he lived 6 blocks from our house. Then he asked to see a receipt for the vet bills. Seriously? We saved your darn dog. It has a foot infection. I'm giving it back. Are you really going to test my credibility? Then the dog got away while he was holding it. He ran after it. Then he came back so we could lecture him on the responsibilities of having a dog. Steve made sure to mention that if he didn't want to take care of it anymore we would be happy to.

Scott Prichard took my dog. Eff you Scott Prichard.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Real (BAD) Men of Genius

Almost 10 years ago (1999) Miller Light first began their "Real Men of Genius" Campaign. This advertising ploy basically consists of everyday Joe's and people with funny or menial jobs who the commercial then pays tribute to (and use an awesome background vocalist).

The first time I heard one of these unsung-hero advertisements I laughed my ass off. And then I though, wow, Miller Light sounds awesome, I should buy a case!! This may have also been because I was about 16 years old and really, anything that contains alcohol seems like the best idea ever.

Flash forward to 2008 and what do my ears hear on the radio but the Real Men of Genius! Unfortunately, it's not funny. In fact, it's about as funny as if Budweiser brought back their frogs - who were also funny at first- and pretended as if no time had lapsed. Why hasn't anyone else said anything about this?? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

*Note: According to Wikipedia, the commercials have been running steadily throughout the years, but I swear on a stack of bibles that I haven't heard any of these until about a month ago. Regardless, my position is still the same - old news.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Vegetarianism For Picky Eaters


I stopped eating meat at 13 after a teacher made us watch a video about slaughterhouses. I came home that day and announced to my parents that I was never eating meat again. This didn't go over well.

Being vegetarian is a billion times easier and more acceptable now. Almost everything has a veggie alternative, to chicken fingers and corn dogs, to ribs and hamburgers. There is even vegan pizza that contains cheese with no animal products! Mind bottling!! BTW, I've never tried veggie ribs. I just don't even know how to start comprehending that product.

The unfortunate thing for me is that I am a VERY picky eater. I don't like most fruits and only a few vegetables. Makes it kinda hard to try to stay on the veggie path. Anyway, here is a short list of things that even I will eat, and that I have survived off of.

Some of my favorite veggie products for beginners and for picky eaters like me:
- Gardenburger Original Burgers (I am kind of anti the veggie burgers that are supposed to taste and feel like meat. Just not as good if you ask me.)
- Morningstar Farms Veggie Corn Dogs
- Morningstar Farms Breakfast Links/Patties

Other random veggie foods:
- Hummus with carrots/bell peppers (I like the kind that has the olive oil and pine nuts, but I can't remember the name for the life of me)
- Artichokes and balsamic vinegar
- Pad Thai with tofu
- Tofu with curry and brown rice
- Grilled corn
- Bean and cheese burritos
- Jamba juice smoothies
-Edameme
- Yogurt (I like Stonyfield Farms, which I always want to call Storybrook Farms, making the people at the grocery store probably think I have the mentality of a 5 year old.)